Monday, December 31, 2007

Charlie Wilson's War

The movie is a gem as far as hollywood movies dealing with world geopolitics go. Absolutely nothing is out of place, from chronicling the antics of (former)U.S. congressman Charlie Wilsons flamboyant lifestyle to the parched landscape of the afghans.
The film is a cinematic adaptation of a book on the same subject, which is about Charlie Wilson and his role in getting U.S. support for the afghan fight against the soviets in late 70s. It was cold war time & U.S. was then fighting a covert war to defeat the communist soviet regime. In order to keep the support under cover & outrun the commies, Charlie had made an almost impossible pact between the Muslims & Israel, the movie tells us how he goes about it. Tom Hanks plays congressman Charlie Wilson & is impeccable in presenting the man, having character flaws & yet holding Americas interests above all, Om Puri splendidly plays general Zia-Ul-Haq , Julia Roberts does a stellar job of playing an upper class conservative christian , using her money & influence against the communists.
The film also makes points upon how America always goes to war but never tries to rebuild the community afterwards.

Heppy New Ear

.. in case your neighbor plans to burst firecrackers.
And many thanks to all my 'friends' who thought of me worthy enuf to be on their numerous scraps & email lists to which they sent their ultra colorful (spam) greetings. I will remember to click send to all & send a thanks personally to each one of you.

eh.. One resolution of mine should be to do away with the sarcasm :P .

enjoy !

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Interesting "inspiration"

'Tis the christmas time here & this classic song is playing everywhere :



'Tis khoya khoya chand time as well.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Benazir

(Adjective in Urdu) ; means incomparable , unique.

She went back & stayed put even after the earlier first attack & dismal security . Was either very brave or a very bad decision maker influenced by ill advice.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Cloverfield

Blair witch style home-video-feel movie with a sci-fi mystery angle.
Trailer looks chaotic but edgy, may work. Releasing 18th Jan(US).

मायामी से वापस आया-मी

Got back from Miami , Jodhaa Akbar got postponed again , TZP released , Modi won , Churches were set on fire , Another student was shot in delhi , so much changes in a week , yet stays the same ?

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Elle Mag goes Hindi

Trivendrum 26 Dec : With liberalization coming a full circle & Tatas taking over Jaguar, another Indian company has taken over reins of an MNC . The Malayala Moronama group has just bought the republishing rights for the worldwide womens magazine Elle. They are rebranding it in hindi as 'Naari-Elle'. The promotional copy comes with a satchet of Parashute Naarielle Tel. Get your own today.

Friday, December 21, 2007

Note to self

Think before you say.

friend : I am making some cold coffee, anyone ?
me : sure !
friend to his flatmate : And you ?
ffmw(friends flatmates wife) : no-no he has milk allergy.
me : milk allergy ?
ffm : Lactose intolerant.
me : oh .. so when did you first find out about it ?
friend : when he first drank milk.
me : ummm...uh oh..but..err..ok.. ahem.

{BIG awkward silence}

me (switching on the tv) : so whats on tv today.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - afterthought.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Story of three teens

TwistedDNA blogs about being caught ala american pie.

.... Interrupting the enchanting pop sound-track of the porn movie, spoke guy_1, “Do you think we will be able to finish the movie before your parents return?” Guy_2 chimed in, “Yeah, do you think we should fast forward a bit?” ....

Read full :
Story of three teens

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

new Nepali national anthem

Indias least hostile neighbour & 'ally' Nepal is no longer a kingdom & hence it has adopted this new anthem. Not to be rude here but I wonder how they can stand in attention to this & not burst out dancing to the catchy tune :) .. or have I been brainwashed with the garhwali sounding dances in bollywood ?



Monday, December 17, 2007

Rhyme [for a change] in Marathi | मराठी कविता

परदेशी गुलाबी थंडितहि ,
चिर यौवना च्या धुन्दीतहि ,
उरी ऊष्म उन्हा चा भास असे ,
प्रेमळ साथी ची आस असे ।

त्या पावसाची आठवण ,
या तरुण मनाचे ते वलण ,
वड, चिन्चे च्या आडोश्यातले ,
आपले मिलन असे होई स्मरण ...

सोनेरी कसे ते केस तुझे ,
दगदगते कसे हे मन माझे .
कोमल गालान्च्या गर्भी प्रिया ,
बालिश हसणारे ओठ तुझे .
नूतन गज्र्याची मंद गंध ,
मज अंतरी आज़ही वसे ,
इथ श्वेत श्याम च्या गर्दीतही
मला तूच दिसे, सखी तूच दिसे

* courtesy : English-Marathi dictionary :P

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Calm waters

Gazing in the darkness,
I just sat there for years,
waiting for the one who would
be my likeness.

show me the light,
fill my heart with delight,
so that i stop being ..
the monster without his Loch Ness.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

He said, "Let there be light"

& the bartender handed him a Bud light.


सर मुन्डाते ही ओले पड़े

New York version : Shave करते ही Sleet पड़े

तड तड तदा तड , Oh these small frozen ice-pellets sure sting ! & the pavement is slippery, I couldn't even go to the Indian cart for my lunch.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Greatest mysteries in science

"... more men named “Ken” move to live in Kentucky and more “Florences” move to live in Florida; more men named “Dennis” become dentists and more “Lauras” become lawyers."

- from Livescience The greatest mysteries of science - Who are we ?

Man, I knew I should have been named Swisshal or viStar or something like that.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

2008 Horrorscope

This year is going to be an year of great twists & turns in the world ,
to be remembered in the infinite history. Wonder why . . .


Student killed in school shootout .. U.S. ? No Delhi !

" a 14-year-old boy studying in Std VIII was killed on Tuesday allegedly by two of his classmates who pumped five bullets into him shortly after the school closed. "

http://in.rediff.com/news/2007/dec/11shoot.htm

Monday, December 10, 2007

"I hate you,

you are retarted. that simple, mentally retarted"

- a comment from John Jacobs(U.S) on Mahmoud Ahmadinejads blog

I don't know if this is a planted comment but the comments do range from high praise to trash like this, allowing such comments on his blog is very surprising for a man who has a dictator like image being propagated by international media. Maybe the leader of the free world should take out some time to reach out like this.

Merchant[s] of political filth

Friday, December 7, 2007

Separation

She was sitting besides a fresh grave, gazing at the roses, in tears.

"Come on Iya, Its getting late, we don't have much time."
"It wasn't supposed to be like this Ralph"


He came near & held her hands.

"I know honey, but we can't help it now"
"But everything was so good, the kids were happy with us Ralph, so happy with us as parents, I was so proud of James, Lisa made me smile. I never thought i would have anybody call me mom like that."
"You chose well Iya, getting them was perhaps the best decision we ever made"
"But now .."
"Now lets hope they'll be cherished as the precious little souls they are, thats all we can do, lets go"


The two rise & walk towards the gates, then disappear in the mist.

The tombstones read :
Iya Welch
12/20/1972 - 1/23/2007
Ralph Welch
11/13/1971 - 1/23/2007

Thursday, December 6, 2007

gmail <3 aim * , par ye shadi nahi ho sakti !

So now I can chat with my AIM buddies in the gmail talk window - link.
But do i want to mix business(aim) & pleasure(gtalk) ???

* <3 stands for 'love(heart)' as in I <3 India

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Go green (not with envy)

We have to do this otherwise the politicians will keep playing climate change pass-the-buck at Bali when climate change is already knocking at our doors. *thanks aksharshilpa for the link.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

After the revelation

First the Flashback

P.Hell* 21/22/2200,
When he-who-must-not-be-spoken-of-lightly FSM, rescued me from the normal hell, you should have seen their faces ! Thats why us pastafarians just love FSM, he is the one & only ultimate god & thinking otherwise would be blasphemy. So here I am at the *Pastafarian hell now. Why still hell you ask? Arey the place is just too cool to be called Hell. Infact Phell is the exact opposite. We get 96 virgins [instead of the standard 72 in some other heavens] for all the weekends in the year. You can pee & spit paan anywhere but it doesn't stain or smell ! Theres no politics [politicos are sent to the heaven, where they don't have mouths]. We even have starbucks & haldirams outlets plus my favorite : toys-r-us !
In a few days I will be in the divine presence of goddess Invisible Pink Unicorn. She might have already blessed us , we never know since shes kind of .. Invisible. Hoping that you all join me soon in these new adventures in the afterlife.

Signing off from Phell,
Lavish


Thanks to lekhni for inspiring an even more nonsensical sequel post to the one below :)

Sunday, December 2, 2007

The atheists nightmare

vishal is crossing a street, lost in thoughts like whether the meaning of life is lack of death. then...Bam ! .. he dies on the spot ... So much for the meaning of life.
(my friends will agree on the cause of my death. Though i hope - that its swift & painless)

the cloud clears,
yamrajs court ... its just hanging in the void of space like they showed on mahabharat, man ! yamraj is enjoying sura & watching the apsara channel.

santri: Nastik vishal mungi hazir ho !
yamraj(changing the channel to aastha) : an atheist ? shame shame , not another one !
me(wide eyed & disbelieving) : this is a bad dream, this is a bad dream ...
santri : hey shutup ! you have the right to remain silent.
chitragupt(clearing his throat) : vishal mungi , tumhara hisab is prakar se hai ..
yamraj: arey hisab visab chhodiye , nark mein kounsi kadhai khali hai wo bataiye is nastik ke liye.
chitragupt: parantu dev, agle mahine audit hai ..
yamraj: oh , achhha vaise bhi naarad ji kabhi bhi aa sakte hain, theek hai.
chitragupt :
pitrudharm - below par
matrudharm - below par
me : huh?
bhratradharm - below par
mitradharm - below par
hatya - N/A
balatkaar - N/A
nashile padarth - N/A
madira - N/A
Yamraj : Mandira ! kahan hai mandira, hum usey yahi rakhenge.
Chitragupt : Mandira nahi maharaj M.a.d.i.r.a. arthaat alcohol, hooch, tharra.
Yamraj : Oh ahem...continue.
Chitragupt :
pashu hatya - doshi

me : what the ..
chitragupt :
hurting religious sentiments - doshi
me : is this a joke ?
santri : shhhh !
chitragupt :
dhumrapaan - N/A
iti.
Yamraj : On these counts we find you guilty. Tumhe krimibhojan nark mein bheja jayega. There you will
exist as a worm, eating another worms tail who in turn is eating your tail. Infinite hell loop, perrfect
for a programmer, what say ?
me : Oh hell ! I never got much chance to code. Anyway where did you get this data from ?
Chitragupt : A state-of-the-art three minute survey was sent to those who know you. Those who cared
responded...only 5% , that alone tells a lot about you.
me : But this must be wrong. my family rates me below par ?
Chitragupt : Unhone kabhi uttar hi nahi diya, ye default option hai.
me : Par meine pashu hatya to kabhi ki hi nahi.
Chitragupt : Hello, eggs ? Well its a lot stricter than that, but we've built it upon the Jain rules.
me : And when did i hurt 'religious sentiments'(Indian political vocabulary?). I've been an atheist myself, but never against anyones beliefs.

At this Chitragupt types something on his laptop. I see its a customized mac !

Chitragupt : Is this your blog ?
me : yes
Chitragupt : Why are there so many insulting statements making fun of the flying spaghetti monster ?
me : Thats just a fictional deity which the atheists use to get their point across.
Chitragupt : Oh is that so ?

Just then .. roars of thunder echo across the clouds, a cyclone nears,
the papers fly everywhere ..
everybody becomes awestruck as strikes of lightning emanate from a Huge form, which is glowing with the radiance of a Hundred suns & has Thousands of arms . Yes it is..
HIM , the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

By the grace of FSM(pasta be upon him). I am saved !

End.


Read what happens afterwards .. here

I dig Joanne Colan !

Joanne anchors popular video blog RocketBoom, which spoofs & satires on tech & other news. Apart from looking good, shes funny & sounds intelligent too [well she must be, considering she used to work as a researcher for the bbc] - Now thats a heady combination of attributes ;) . Also she speaks quite fast & clear, something that is required for a 3 minute news clip. Heres a clip from her on the social networking phenomenon :

Saturday, December 1, 2007

A virgin barber

On his wedding night to the wife :
"Honey, I have been shaving myself all these years for you."

;)

Thursday, November 29, 2007

CPI lets Taslima *live*

Theres a race on at TOI -- who makes the absurdest headline.

The two diaspora

Yes, there are two types of diaspora, The rich ones who can even influence national policies & be treated like erstwhile provincial rulers.. like the Amreekan Indians. The others.. the lowly 'ethnic' Indians living & struggling against discrimination in countries such as Malaysia , Dubai & Fiji etc. In the recent shouting spat between the malaysian official from the PMO & our own Tamil 'champion' Karunanidhi, one thing is clear. Even if Karuna was wrong in terming it as assault against the tamils('Malaysian Indians' would have been a better word), the Manmohan Singh government is not going to raise a finger on the issue. Since that type of Diaspora doesn't hold any influence in the country.

And anyway, i find the protests somewhat funny, for the reason behind them is this :

The Hindu Rights Action front (Hindraf) of Malaysia wanted to hand over a memorandum signed by over 100,000 ethnic Indians demanding Queen Elizabeth II to appoint a Queen's counsel to represent the Indian community in a class action suit against the British Government for bringing Indians as indentured labourers to then 'Malaya' and "exploiting" them.

Hindraf has also asked for a compensation of four trillion US dollars from the British Government.

Do they seriously think that will ever happen !!

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Funny stuff

Reproduced here an extract from the rediff article This Jest in by Aditi Nadkarni

What's in a name?

Payal Mehta had settled down well into her routine in the United States. The job was well-paying and she finally decided to get herself the little piece of plastic all shoppers adore: a credit card. Happy at being approved for one, she waited for the brand-new card to arrive. And it did after a few days, her name typed on shiny blue plastic -- Pile Mehta, in bright silver letters.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Just Doodle It !

Notice the Nike swoosh for the skis :P

Kasparov to D6

Oh ..i wish life was a game of chess

Cell number D6 or E5 , that maybe the new move for Kasparov, who was sentenced to 5 days in jail by 'King' Putin, for leading a march to the Central election Offices, claiming that the coming elections were biased in favor of Putin. Apparently he only had permission for holding a rally. Say, whats the difference ?

Thursday, November 22, 2007

An oily rhyme

We have rich soil
Have mexicans who toil
O' Citizens.. smile
Cause we have the oil

Who gives a damn if others roil
We have the oil
We have the oil

The free market economy is a bliss,
But don't outsource our jobs please.
Let the Macs & Cokes take them over,
Just dont take away my subsidy cover.

We are sure, theres no global warming,
Its only too many chinese swarming,
Its them & the Indians,
who make the world boil.
Its not our oil,
Never our oil.

So what if no ones ever been thankful,
for changing regimes & givin'em 'democracy'.
we have our hands full,
for embarking on the next idiocracy.

Those who are not with us are against us,
In fear they will recoil,
cause we have the oil,
We'll always take that oil.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

FeY

Why 'Storm' didn't have any kissing scenes in X-Men.
- It always gave the men a brain-freeze.

Friday, November 16, 2007

Ain't that odd ?

I am temporarily doing the third shift (4pm-12pm) at work.
On of my colleagues said 'Man, Thats odd'
'No' i said, 'this is *Even*, 3 to 11 would have been odd'

end.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Childrens Day at 99.98 fm

- Hey, This just in, we got Xyz Khan for childrens day.
- What ? wow ! which Slot ?
- Morning, traffic tunes, tell Adrita to be ready.
- Oh she'll really freak out when i tell her this !
- Bet she will, & tell her i want the 'cute' accent, its childrens day afterall.
And you have the job of arranging some children.
- Some children ?
- Actually some special children, you know those autistic kinds.
- Oh i get it, but can't we get some from that Balashram orphanage ?
- No, we want the mentally challenged ones..you know his new movie
is about those kids.
- Oh yeah, I forgot, nice songs.
- I know, so we have got some exclusives as well.
- Really ! that will shoot up the listener ship.

...

-Hey I just called at this place, those children are booked.
-What ? children are booked ?
-Yeah 99.99 fm got to them before us, u know they have Xyz Kapoor coming right ?
-Yeah Yeah, isn't there any other place for these kids ?
-Not in Mumbai & our budget is limited.
-Oh shoot ! Khan asked specifically for those ones. How about that orphanage.
-Let me check.

...

-Late here as well, they are being taken to PhonyTV.
-Oho..then Cancer kids, Handicapped, anything ?
-Very difficult, I know an NGO, they provide good street kids.
-Street kids, oh nobody cares about Them.

-Hmmm ok why don't you do one thing, just tell all the staff to get their children,
Nobody can guess on radio & they'll have some fun. Have you called the press bureau yet ?

http://www.buzz18.com/slideshows/movies/bwood-exploits-childrens-day/26723/1

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Help the poor, Play as much as you can !

Are you a words-aficionado ? Would you like playing with words & donate food while doing that ?
Then go to http://www.freerice.com/index.php , build your English vocabulary and bring a betterment to fellow humans doing that. Help spread this message (Like, I put it on a scrabble playing sites chat room).

On the sidelines, i went Ice-Skating for the first time in my life this weekend... and even though it hurts ( mainly the body part which i landed on thrice), Would like to go again.. good fun learning it with 5 year olds !

Friday, November 9, 2007

Miss Mumbai ..

very much ! Although i would prefer to settle down anywhere but the maximum city, can't help but reminisce all the chaos on this sombre deepavali here.

What do i miss ?

Hanging my underwear out to dry (you can do it here but the neighbors frown)

Vada-Pav which is literally khoon paseene ki kamai of the vendor.

Flies. we had a very symbiotic relationship, they tasted my food for poison.

ooooo Himesh + auto rickshaw + jhankaar beats.

The 'sacred' animal walking or idling on the road. Eating garbage.

Power-cut breaks we used to get in the office.

Raste ka maal saste mein. Do ka char, Do ka char, Dun kya bhaisaab ?

Automatic boarding & exiting the mumbai local. The extremly 'close' brotherhood of local commuters.

Jaghanya apraadhi faraar ! & Breaking news every minute on aak tak..sabse tez.

Haggling with the cold-drink vendor for the 2 Rs. over MRP.

Pudhe chalaa pudhe chalaa.. o kali topi wale sarak tujhya m@i#% - Best bus conductor.

Egg-bhurji available at any ungodly hour. The silly drunkards(Hic!) that surround that egg-bhurji stall.


wish to add more ?

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

शुभ दीपावली | Happy Deepavali

This Deepavali,
dont be loneli,
go out there,
& be jolli,
This is the festival of lights,
taking truth to the heights,
its about being a good human,
not only taking mithai bites !


...& please dont burn fire crackers for the sake of environment

Monday, November 5, 2007

My fortune cookie on Orkut 6

Today's fortune: Good news will be brought to you by mail

'good news' ? by email ? couldn't she just tell me ? who's her anyway :O

mail one : Congratulations, you have been selected as the 10,000th visitor at dubiousSite.com
mail two : Unbeatable offer, enlarge your [insert body part here] in 10 days. Click here.
mail three : Women will attack you ! - from Jerry(? seems Tom has let him loose)
mail four : Become a bigger man. (sic)
mail five : Enlong your schlong !! (why ? is the human male going through depression ?)
mail six : Your home loan approved. .. yippie !

wait a minute, did i ever apply ?

Never knew spam can be so interesting.

Saturday, November 3, 2007

Can superheated clusters of gases foretell anything ?

Stars, that is. I've often wondered how astrologers manage to keep their profession alive. I think the trick is to keep the reader happy by guessing both ways & keeping the answers open ended.
A case in point is this from http://www.paulsadowski.com/Numbers.asp :-

Whats in a name ? lots ...

You entered: vishal mungi

There are 11 letters in your name.
Those 11 letters total to 54
There are 4 vowels and 7 consonants in your name. Grammer lesson ?

Your number is: Billa number 9

The characteristics of #9 are: Vegetarian, Eggitarian, Humanitarian, giving nature, selflessness, obligations, creative expression.

- Wow who doesn't like this sort of flattery !!

The expression or destiny for #9:
Your talents center in humanistic interests and approaches.(i only approaches cute girlies) You like to help others as you were intended to be the 'big brother or big sister (new reality show) ' type. You operate best when you follow your feelings and sense of compassion, and allow yourself to be sensitive to the needs of others. You work well with people, and have the potential to inspire. Creative ability, imagination(Day dreaming) and artistic talent (often latent) of the highest order are present in this expression. It's possible that you're not using or developing all of these capabilities at this time. Some of your talents may have been used at an earlier time in your life, and some may still be latent. Be aware of your capabilities.

If you are able to achieve the potential you have a lot to give to others. Your personal ambitions are likely to be maintained in a very positive perspective, never losing sight of an interest in people, and a sympathetic, tolerant, broad-minded and compassionate point of view. You are quite idealistic, and disappointed at the lack of perfection in the world.(ah those potholes) You have a strong awareness of your own feeling as well as those of others. Friendships, affection, and love are extremely important.

Undeveloped or ignored, the negative side of the 9 expression can be very selfish and self-centered. If you do not actively involve yourself with work that benefits others, you may tend to express just the opposite characteristics.(yahan tumhari awaaz koi nahi sunega.. muhahahaha nahiii !) It is your role to be very involved with other people and their needs, but it may be difficult for you achieve this role. Aloofness, lack of involvement, and a lack of sensitivity mark the low road of this expression.

Your Soul Urge number is: 22

A Soul Urge number of 22 means:
The Soul Urge of the master number 22 is very much that of the master builder. The 22 gives a broad, universal outlook with a rather practical and common-sense approach. You have especially high intelligence(?), with an unusual perception(sixth sense for pj's) and awareness. This number often denotes a high degree of diplomatic abilities and high ideals. You are a very capable person and you may possess special leadership abilities that you can and should develop. People respect you and recognize your superior foresight(4 sight = spectacles) and vision.( xray vision would be better :P )

Your Inner Dream number is: 5

An Inner Dream number of 5 means:
You dream of being totally free and unrestrained by responsibility. You see yourself conversing and mingling(exactly wat kind ?) with the natives (jhingalala hu !) in many nations, living for adventure and life experiences. You imagine what you might have accomplished.


Wow ain't i smug now ? you believe it or not, reading something like this in the morning, makes one feel good atleast for the day.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

A sense always prevails around me

Nonsense.

Here i was, late in the night as usual trying to straighten my back on punishing benches of the subway train, after a back-breaking non-working day. It so happens that after lurking around yesterday night at the halloween parade, I was thinking about spooky action at a distance & so the possibility of some thing traveling faster than the speed of light (yeah, seriously bored).Ok, If there is indeed anything zapping around faster would we be able to see it ? cos it is already faster than light speed , which is the only thing we can see. Also would we be able to feel it ? when we can only feel visible sunlight as sunburn after spending hours in it ? Moreover the mass of this 'thing' would be lighter than photons(?) so it is possible that we are already feeling it .. that might actually be causing that itch you cant scratch on you back !

Now all this while, i was also time slicing between looking at a belle dame seated diagonally opposite. She looked at me... is the burger mayo still stuck to my chin ? nope, she looked at me again ! that happens rarely. Sometime later she smiled at me !! that almost never happens. The train stopped, she got out, i got out .... she waved at the friend seated next to me all along in the train ... & it was the wrong station, again.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

जोधा अकबर | Jodhaa Akbar theatrical trailer

This has only been released for theaters. I agree something this grand doesn't suit the small box :

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

No smoking review / धुम्रपान निषेध है - Screenplay के लिए खेद है !

|| श्री श्री गुरु घंटाल बाबा बंगाली वाले की जय ||

फिल्म पर कुछ लिखने से पहेले ही ज़ोर से बोल दूँ के मैंने ज़िंदगी में कभी सिगरेट को मुह से लगा कर जलाया नही है, अलबत्ता हाथ में ज़रूर लिया है । तो शायद मेरा experience धुम्रक्क्ड ! लोगों से अलग हो

दाद देनी पड़ेगी अनुराग को , खाज और खुजली भी देनी पड़ेगी , क्योंकी अगर इनके सिवा उनकी कल्पना शक्ती इतनी गिर सकती है तो इनके साथ वे क्या गुल खिलाएँगे पता नहीं , seriously , ये फिल्म मुझे पसंद आनी चाहिए थी क्योंकि ये एक PJ है , और मैं भी एक PJ हूँ | इसमें एक जोक परेश रावल जॉन अब्राहम के साथ करते हैं , दूसरा अनुराग हमारे साथ करते हैं | दिल तो करता है के मैं भी कुछ ऐसा लिखूं की "फिल्म देखते हुए ऐसा लग रहा था के उंगलियाँ रणवीर की कट रही हैं और दिमाग मेरा (बचा है थोडा बहुत) " पर ये कुछ ऐसा है जो और कोई निर्देशक attempt भी नहीं करेगा (राकेश 'अक्स' मेहरा भी नहीं) और ऐसे प्रयोगों की बहुत आवश्यकता है यशराज और प्रियदर्शन के पागलपन के बीच में . सिर्फ फिल्म की संकल्पना ही इतना प्रभावित करती है , अगर execution भी उतना ही बढिया होता तो क्या बात थी | इसलिए जाइये no smoking देखिये और अगर आप असली मज़े उठाना चाहते हैं तो अपने किसी मित्र को साथ ले जाइये और फिल्म देखते समय उसके चेहरे का हाल देखिये ! :P

Anyway, this couldve been cannes material, right now it is trash can's material. Just jauking :)

My fortune cookie on Orkut 5

Today's fortune: You are going to have some new clothes.

I thought, the time's up for me.. the message is for my soul ..

जैसे कोई व्यक्ती पुराने कपड़े उतार नऐ कपड़े पहनता है, वैसे ही शरीर धारण की हुई आत्मा पुराना शरीर त्याग कर नया शरीर प्राप्त करती है ॥
--श्रीमद्भगवद्गीता

Like, a person changes worn-out garments and puts on new clothes, so does the soul change the worn-out bodies and acquires that is new
-- The bhagwat geeta

But i tricked my soul, got a new sweater instead :P

Monday, October 29, 2007

दो बीघा ज़मीन के लिए ३०० किलोमीटर कि gandhigiri

India's landless prevented from marching on parliament - Guardian Unlimited

Around 25,000 tribals & small land villagers marched 300Kms into delhi to make themselves heard.
There were the untouchables & now these are the untouched.. those who remain unaware of the 'boom' happening in the stock markets & cities. Little do they know that it is this very development which calls for the sacrifice of their farmlands at a pittance. As India slowly moves into an era away from agriculture, those entrenched in this family occupation will have a very tough going since they haven't been equipped with the skills to face the transformation, which might not be as peaceful as this march.

Even as we speak of this gandhian march here, thousands of suppressed riots mark the land in china & naxal parts of india.

:: Video ::

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

(s)crap on orkut

Boy, the things people write :

I was cooking chicken and i added hara dhania . guess what happened . chicken started dancing - "humpe ye kisine hara rang dala, mar dala mar dala" . dont worry still i m a veg this is just a scarp.

!!

Monday, October 22, 2007

My fortune cookie on Orkut 4

Today's fortune: Your winsome smile will be your sure protection

We had a production issue, my boss looked at me, i smiled, the smile has a little gap now.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

दशहरे की शुभकामनाये ! Happy Dussera !

People are busy in the big apple, seems they are more busy in small apple (Jersey City). The Street Garba at Newark Street [Journal Square] which is into its 5th Year happens only on weekends (Fri & Sat),
but attracts huge crowds. The ultimate night on 20th attracted over 13,000 Indians & Americans !
It was nice to see some 'goris' learn impromptu dance steps & chiming in as well.

The whole street is closed & packed with over 13,000 !


Wednesday, October 17, 2007

बहुत हो चुका, अब हिंदी में लिखेंगे !

चिटठा (chittha) = hindi for blog
Waves of good writers in hindi is hitting the shores of the blogworld. Thanks to the blog service providers like blogspot which have inbuilt support for indic langauges, finally the language which i remember from my lessons :

"जैसी बोली जाती है वैसी ही लिखी जाती है "

is coming into its own. http://www.blogvani.com/ compiles some of these.

I will keep writing in the language that i speak -- hinglish.

Really Sensitive index

Yesterday the mumbai sensitive index opened 1500 points down
& immediately my flat mates went into chintamani mode.
As i saw later in the morning, It recovered afterwards.
But some guys were awake late into night (am in the USofA rt now) tracking it.
some reason keeps me away from tying myself to the ups & downs of sensex.
its too unstable, perhaps, like the cricket team, i expect some consistency !

I was awake too, trying out Joost, a
play on demand video web service that lets you play tv shows. Though the video quality
is good, there are not a large number of shows available but that is expected to change
in the course of time. Its easy for providers to stream video content here in the U.S.
where everything is broadband. No such luck in india for the time being.If you don't want
to install the player, websites of some tv channels provide full episodes online like :

Survivor (last season) ** must see
Survivor (China - current season)
CSI

All on cbs.com

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

SeeSaw Bullies

This just came in my mail ... Few men decided to relive their childhood & risk their manhood by playing see saw in a bullfight arena.. with the bull inside it ! Wait till the bull dislodges them one by one.



Seems like fun ! isn't it ?

Monday, October 15, 2007

All Courtesy The Genome

A discovery that should give us some more ammunition against the mutation of disease causing pathogens is RNA interference. It is an alternative RNA based approach to genetics rather than DNA.

"Once scientists abandoned their preconceived notions of genes and looked instead at individual DNA "letters" in the genome—the four bases A, C, T and G— they immediately began to see cause-and-effect connections to myriad diseases and human traits."


"scientists have identified specific alterations in the sequence of DNA that play causative roles in a broad range of common diseases, including type 1 and type 2 diabetes; schizophrenia; bipolar disorder; glaucoma; inflammatory bowel disease; rheumatoid arthritis; hypertension; restless legs syndrome; susceptibility to gallstone formation; lupus; multiple sclerosis; coronary heart disease; colorectal, prostate and breast cancer, and the pace at which HIV infection causes full-blown AIDS. Unlike so many previous "disease gene" discoveries, these findings are being replicated and validated."

"In a handful of years, your doctor may be able to run a computer analysis of your personal genome to get a detailed profile of your health.This goes well beyond merely making predictions. A new technology called RNA interference may also allow doctors to control how your DNA is "expressed," helping you circumvent potential health risks. Many common diseases that have preyed on humans for eons—devastating neurological conditions such as Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, cancer—could be eradicated."


-- Excerpts from the article courtesy Indian Express
http://www.indianexpress.com/sunday/story/227980.html

And here is a nifty animation explaining the stuff :
http://www.nature.com/focus/rnai/animations/animation/animation.htm

My fortune cookie on orkut - 3

Today's fortune: You and your wife will be happy in your life together

me? wife? happy? together??? sigh ... what can i say !

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Sunshine - Movie Review

Saw two new movies : Johnny Gaddar (जॉनी गद्दार) & Sunshine . Immensely satisfying.

"If the sun dies, so do we"

Now this is my kind of movie. I am glad i saw this one.

--Spoiler Warning--
Sometime in the very distant future, our sun is dying out. And human kind has surprisingly managed not to kill itself. A group of scientists on board a ship are going on humanities second & last attempt at reviving the sun. So its about the reality show that plays out between the crew.
Sun is dying, but its still radiant enough to burn the ship, So it feels like the patient attempting to kill its own doctor. The FX & graphics are amazing, truly capturing the fury & beauty of the sun. Visually the sun seems a benevolent god who has the power to sustain life but enough to destroy it all in one solar surge. The settings may not seem befitting of so long in the future, Also the humans still behave 'humanely' which i seriously believe would be the first trait to be lost in our over mechanization. The movie also reminds me of 'Event Horizon' in a surprise twist of events. Highly recommended for science fiction buffs.


About the second one, I have formed a theory. In Indian cinema, the credits speak a lot. So if you have the director of Ek Haseena Thi (एक हसीना थी) Sriram Raghavan on the rolls with his whole crew, you have to go & watch the movie [Although people like RGV defy any logic of this sort]. Its just like the general formula for Indian girls going to a movie because of who it stars & what they wear.


--Spoiler Warning--
Johnny Gaddar is not a mystery, in fact you know from the first quarter, who did what, but its a damn good thriller. The story is about how Johnny cons his own gang. Then survives all the suspicion around him by turning it over its head & does so very believably. The characters are realistic, Dharmendra is especially good as the head of the gang. Neil Nitin Mukesh(grandson of Mukesh) is playing Johnny & excels at that. Other gang members are perfect in their roles. There is a separate plot which involves extra marital affair between a gang members wife (Rimii Sen) & Neil. There is only one background song in the movie so it holds its pace well, but some shots could've been cut short. Recommended viewing against the current hindi lot of borrowed comedies. * Don't miss the opening credits, they've been done tastefully in the style of 70's movies.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

2nd Oct


Where is this lonesome man going, why doesn't he wear proper clothes, what is he so firm but calm about ? is that a sunrise in India or the sun finally sat on the empire ?

Does Burma need a Gandhi right now ?

Monday, October 1, 2007

Sparkling dew drops on the web

This is one of my favorite self captured photos :

Testing my Panasonic
Sunset Couple (Singapore McRitchie Reservoir)

Got a decent one by fluke . These however are works of art, captured with patience and a keen eye for colors. Wonder how you can stumble upon sapphires navigating this vast wired mesh.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

My fortune cookie on orkut 2

Today's fortune: Your love life will be happy and harmonious

Spent gud time at lovemeter.com - Check
Signed up for Harmonium lessons - Check

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Suck it up guys !

Our national hockey team is fuming at the 20/20 'baseball' cup win celebrations. They think that they are getting a step motherly treatment & that the step mother is nothing like yashoda in any way.

I think hockey never enjoyed large public support, so just because the team played better in the times of dhyaanchand, it was made the national sport ? Personally i like tennis & dislike cricket because they are simply not consistent enough Also you never know if it is 'fixed' . But, actually no sport can beat the excitement of the final overs in cricket for Indians, so unless you win an Olympic gold or something, hockey guys will have to be satisfied with the government jobs.
People will only follow a sport when someone performs first, as was the case with Leander then & Sania now.

p.s. I also think its wasteful of us to allow a noise & air polluting event called F1 to be hosted in India. Nothing will come good out of it except money going into the hands of politicians/mallaya.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

MOASt Delicious !

i.e. Mango On A Stick ! all my life of two & a half plus decade I've eaten mangoes the traditional Indian way like poking a hole at the top & squeeze + suck the hell lot of juice out of it or just slice it , never like this ....


Nicely spiced & sweet, This was a clean & non messy delight on a stick !! :P . This site has details on how to make it :
http://www.wikihow.com/Cut-a-Mango

Monday, September 24, 2007

My fortune cookie on orkut

Today's fortune: You will travel far and wide, both for pleasure and business

Traveled far from New Jersey to NYC office - Check
Traveled wide from Office to Subway for a sandwich, had pleasure eating it - Check.

Friday, September 21, 2007

A Smoking Begger ?

While on my usual walk back from the office to 33rd Street Path station, I saw another interesting New York beggar. Sitting on a wheel chair, a plastic mug in one of his hand, the other hand steadily helping him to puff on a cigarette while continuously calling out for loose change for his meal !

I have been encountering many such 'beggars' (dont think they wud ike to call themselves that, hence the quotes) lately ... around the corners, smelling of alcohol & smugly asking to provide for their next meal, Or pretending to have lost their wallet , they just approach you & ask you if you have some change, they are equals, not like the really poor beggars in india (i think the begging industry shown in traffic signal is far removed from reality) who try extra hard for your attention & show pity on themselves.

And this a complete contrast from Singapore, where i didn't see One person begging. Although i did see a man wearing plastic bags for socks, he was not begging. Maybe they put a fine on begging as well !

But really my question is this, would you consider giving any thought to a beggar who is smoking ?? In my world smoking is banned, even for the disabled, especially for the beggars.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

How to undress in under 2 seconds



Now what can i say ... yes.. hit the replay button to learn !

Jodhaa Akbar - 25th Jan 2008

Nobody in indian cinema has ever been able to recreate the magic of mughal-e-azam. Even if this is 1/5th of that we'll be glad.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

You just missed out on buying Belgium !


According to this , Ebay had a sale of Belgium up on its website until now, obviously as a second hand item ( i would say Nth hand item !). Actually this was an ad from a Belgian company 'Six' which wanted to show that Belgium is valuable ! Yeah with $18,812.14 per capita expenditure, it should be a good buy .. but a steal would be Vatican .. whose residents are the wealthiest in terms of per capita.[Source : nationmaster]

This is so beautiful, but its a weed ..

You must have seen this flower in India , these small small flowers made the landscape in my vicinity. But i found out recently that this is not indigenous, its actually a weed from south america.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Recollections - I

half hidden behind the flowers
rain soaked by the showers
i cant see you lady
but i can imagine you for hours

the heart skips a beat or two
when the wind gushes by you

comes to me & says - how r you ?

then ... i feel i can bring you the stars


brisk walk through the meadows

is just what i need with you

cos no one can touch my thoughts

like only can few

intuition says
go ahead ,
play the bet

mind comes then

& doesn't let


---- Vishal Mungi 7:22 PM 6/23/2004

Thursday, September 13, 2007

The death of an innocuous orkut scrap

Scraps, as orkut users might know are little messages of text/picture/video that users can send to one another as well as read anyone else's. That is the USP of the site, you can find out whats really going on based on the conversations he/she has, without the person telling you. Anyone could send these to anybody , but now no more ....

The settings page

Instead, you can introduce yourself while adding a person as friend ....

The girls would most probably be the first ones to turn the feature off.
So guys say your byes to casual intro scraps ... flood them with friend requests instead !

Ungli jaisi dubli ko nahi chahiye pharmacy

I like to karaoke, more so if the lyrics go like this :

jurassic park mein sundar se jode, jazz music gaaye mil ke
(beautiful pairs together are singing the jazz music in the jurassic park !)

picasso ki painting mera peechhe pakad ke texas mein naache mil ke
(holding the painting of picasso behind, we dance together in texas)

Such 'gems' of songs ( like 'telephone dhun mein hasne wali' from indian )
were penned by writer p.k. mishra. These songs might seem nonsensical at first, but
have a lot of meaning such as ..

bandooke taan ke goli chalane se pyaar kabhi marta hai kya
(does love die if you shoot the lovers with guns ?)

machhli pakadne ka jaal bichhaane se ambar ke taare phanste kya
(can you catch the stars of sky by spreading a fishing net ?)

Genius ! :P
So i though of compiling a short table of songs & lyrics here for us to karaoke !

LyricsVideomusicdirectorsongwritersinger
muqabala muqabalaYoutubea r rahmanp k mishramano swarnalatha
urvashi urvashiYoutubea r rahmanp k mishraa r rahman
shankar mahadevan
noel james
patti rapDesiLassia r rahmanp k mishrasuresh Peters
noel james
shankar mahadevan
gopala gopalaDesiLassia r rahmanp k mishras p balasubrahmanyam
s janaki
premika ne pyaar seDesiLassia r rahmanp k mishras p balasubrahmanyam
udit narayan
s p b pallavi


^^^ He features in all of the songs

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

How indians are (?) supporting the iraq war

Though india is not supporting the war ..given their huge presence, immigrant tech workers in US might be , heres how :

Excerpt from wikipedia on the taxation status of H1B visa holders ..

"H-1B workers are legally required to pay the same taxes as any other U.S. resident, including Social Security and Medicare."

"Since an H-1B visa is only valid for 6 years and Social Security benefit eligibility typically requires 10 years of work, most H-1B visa holders will not be able to make use of the Social Security benefits that they are contributing to."

What am i paying the staggering amount of tax for then ? Donation for the 'eye raq' blunder ??
Can i get it back ?

Monday, September 10, 2007

From the ranch northwest ..


Federer behold, I am coming !

So Federation won the U.S. open , didn't we expect that ? although djokovic had many chances he faltered upon. Thats not what the post is about though.
We went to the Madison square park this weekend to view a live screening of finals. There, a stall from Amex for the general public was analyzing our serve alongside the serve of a pro.
This page has my analysis. Its a pretty detailed one .. check if you can find chinks in your serve as well ..


"your weight should be predominantly on the back foot & you are holding the racket loosely"
- yeah Roger that ! :) . Now its only a matter of playing regular :P

Thursday, September 6, 2007

A map of the internet !

Look at what the japs came up with :



Click on the picture to see in full

This map is modeled on the maps of the complex japanese metro rail.
Doesn't seem much at the first look but if you look closer you'll see that major net
companies have clusters of servers around them symbolizing their web applications.Like Google is shown in the biggest font with Orkut, Blogger & You tube in its proximity, each being a station on its own line of vertical like community & movies.

Another important aspect is the presence of the black chinese line, which denotes what the chinese public can see with respect to their foolish censorship.

26th July 2005

Came across a preview of a realistic budget movie on IndiaGlitz - 26th July at Barista .


Brings back memories ... 26th July 2005. The day when it poured & poured on mumbai, but mumbai didn't stand still, The gutters were clogged but it opened its heart to everybody.

Complete strangers helped each other wade through the water. Formed chains & tied ropes to get people across. Stood in the gushing waters & informed if an open manhole was hidden. Traffic police became the only visible government. People gave food & shelter to strangers in their homes.

I myself was out of the 300 odd stranded employees of a firm, who didn't know if they will be able to get food for everybody. There were others, stuck in the lobby. Being in a low lying area, the building was surrounded by torrents of water on two sides & a nalla on the third.
Help came, The builder had arranged a party on the completion of the highest floor, it got canceled. With whatever ingredients he had, the caterer made delicious khichdi for everybody in the lobby. Ultimately, the hr department was somehow able to get food for all.
We slept on our work desks that night.

Why have we come to take this as an expected reaction from the city which never sleeps, has cut throat competition on the streets ,11th July,,, maximum city ?
This article by sudheendra kulkarni describes his journey through that night.
I hope this ability isn't taken for granted & stretched beyond its limit by those in the chair.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

A crazy cuban driver + a confused guide make for a beautiful trip

Oh what an outing , if you are visiting touristy places out of New York then i would recommend
the chinatown tours for a complete adventurous & brain twisting trip(sarcasm intended). You know how the next 48 hours are going to be when you change buses twice , your chinese guide doesn't know which tour company he's working for(apparently it was his first trip with this company to Niagara .. oh well, same here) & the 52 year old bus driver starts talking about his lolita relationships.(han, wo sahi mein dil ka bada acchha tha)

Chinese torture : Wow so many indians in the bus, lets put on some 'indian' music & let me read you the wikipedia printout on the niagara falls ! We'll stop for lunch at a famous indian restaurant(read cheap punjabi buffet). Even that never happened because we were already late. Then there was the 'corny' glass museum where u can see the periodic table made out of glass,
complete nonsense finds me sometimes :)

It was not all bad , we atleast got a room - starting from not knowing where the motel was or if the booking had been made. Got to see many of the attractions in spite of the above. ..My first time in the casino saw me lose 5$ after getting greedy. Niagara is a must see, Chiniagara is not !
U can see my completely fabricated photos in the right flickr link ..

Bhaag Ramu Bhaag !



& who the hell names a movie "Ram Gopal Verma ki Aag" !!!!

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Google GMail promo collaborative video

Last month, Google asked youtube users to submit videos for compiling a gmail promo .
The theme was - passing the gmail M-velop around the globe, here is the wonderful
mixture :




I so wish i was good at math, it could have helped me be with those guys at Google :)

Sunday, August 26, 2007

India Day Parade

This is from the India day parade at NYC ... can you caption it ?

More photos on the Flickr link at right

Sadly Priyanka Chopra was in a bit of a hurry so no snaps of hers. The atmosphere was patriotic with screams of vande mataram all around. There was a jazz band playing beautiful bollywood ..sorry amitabh , Indian movie :P songs. Here [link] is a rendition of "kajra mohabbat wala" by them.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Ash in Pink Panther 2

Ash is starring in the next version of pink panther with Steve martin & Andy garcia. Lets hope this doesn't follow Last legion's fate. Heres a snap of the shooting in Paris (Pic courtesy : omg.yahoo.com )

Andy Garcia & Er, yes thats a cigarette in Ash's hand
(maybe the role requires it)


Atleast she's not looking starved now [link] hmm, shaadi ke laddu must have had their effect.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Talked into brain surgery

Patient kept awake during rare brain surgery

A rare surgery conducted by the neuro surgeons at Delhi’s Apollo hospital has saved a 33-year-old who was diagnosed with a brain tumour. The patient was awake throughout the surgery and also kept talking to the doctors even as they performed the operation.
[link]
So what do they talk about ?....


Friday, August 17, 2007

I am my own god, literally !

Turns out that like 90% hindus, i am named after a deity.
An excerpt from the meaning of my name in reference.com
:

"
Vishal is also a deity in Hinduism. He is the brother of the blue god, Nilesh. " !

My godhood aside , the other philosophical meanings that i like ..

Unstoppable One, One Who Dreams Impossible Dreams, or One Who Reaches for the Sky and is Creative Beyond All Dreams.

Wow , that is so not me ! after all i am a Mungi :P

Monday, August 13, 2007

The deal was signed even before i could say 123 !

The wolf in the sheeps 'Hyde'


I am not going into all the objections raised by the left or right on the agreement. But consider these :

1) The US congress has every chance of discussion & voting on the deal, our parliament doesn't.
The agreement lasts 40 + 10 years, the least they should do is let the future potential governments voice their concerns.
2) The very incentive of India to sign the deal .. that of getting the equipment & technology have been put on the back burner with a different 'amendment' to be done later. What US wants right now is achieved - India now is de facto under NPT.
3) Nuclear energy , though less polluting cannot even produce 20% of our need by 2050 & going by what happened at japan recently .. its a very serious threat to a nation sitting on many geographical fault lines.
4) Imagine how tough will it be for india to test ? we will lose over 200 bn $ in investment !
5) We have been stated as a advanced nuclear technology state & not a nuclear weapons state, they've not even given us this feel good toy.
6) Maybe its a good deal ultimately but fact is that we are not convinced.

Now only if the puppets had ears ....

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

New Era - नया दौर - In Eastman Color

Such a riot of colors ! The scenes look believable & like they were shot in color ! superb skills ...
मेरी पसंदीदा फिल्मों में से एक ये भी है । और अब तो रंगीन भी है ! अगर आप नीचे की लिंक देखेंगे तो सोच भी नही सकते के ये दृश्य श्वेत-श्याम थे ...

Trailer :
http://images.indiaglitz.com/playerV2/launchredirect.asp?vid=27179&category=5030

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Wii Fit - Begining the era of full virtual immersion in games

I am back in the kingdom of bush, its hot out here & so my first post here is about a cool gadget - The Nintendo wii, You'll simply love this new thing that you can do with it :





One day we'll all be strutting in & out of virtual worlds like this .. wii + second life anyone?

Friday, July 27, 2007

My penultimate day at Singapore

If all goes as planned, this should be my penultimate day in Singapore. Had a wonderful stay !
Memories of my stay here will surely be fresh & verdant ...

Tree Top Walk

More snaps in the flickr link on the right ..

Thursday, July 26, 2007

of the straights & the gays

I wanted to do this since i landed in Singapore & saw their premier newspaper :


Just for fun i wondered if there was one for gays will it be like ...

(photoshopped image : click to view details)

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Aap ka suroor the moviee the real luv story - the review

What !? तू मूंगफली तो नही बन गया ? (have u gone nuts ?)... reaction of a friend when i told him i happened to watch "the moviee the real luv story"(yeah thats what the title says!).
well yes i watched it (i am adventurous u see :P) .

The verdict ? well lets just say that its supposed to be a mystery & i didn't wait till the climax :P . But apart from that the first half is very good. Even though HR (not human resource - thats himes's character) doesnt have any idea what 'expression' is ..the humour keeps the story alive.Theres even a joke on his nasal singing !

No intimate scenes, since the cap cant come off !

The screenplay if i dare say it fine & its a slick moviee by todays standards. The plot goes awry after हिमेस escapes from the german prison. But hear this .. Hansika motwani is Damn Gud even if only for the cutie cute role she's got.

Saturday, July 21, 2007