Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Friday, December 12, 2008

Recycle - because your world doesn't depend on it.


Depressed ? Don't worry, The sadist kinds can always join MNS.
Join Bharatiya Rastravadi Samanata Party (BRSP) [that IS a mouthful!] & You Can't Win.
Join the Lok Paritran Party & you can split it even more.
Join the Samaajwadi & earn from home.
Join Shiv Sena & hail the toothless tiger.
And if you really have the honesty ka keeda in your behind,
contest yourself & Vote Independant. yes, its that simple.

Sorry for the whining, Rant over.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

When everybody behaved like IndiaTV

"On the streets of Mumbai, I only met people who thanked us for providing a larger sense of community to a city seething with rage and grief."

- Barkha Dutt responding to the sentiment that media acted senseless.

Yes, Just as you get to see only "nice" comments on your site. Hah ! Looks like ndtv.com is not ready for my comments on your rebuttal So lets have them here :

Barkha,
If you're speaking for the whole main stream tv news media ..
1) We saw media guys chasing the rescued hostages for quotes. How are you feeling? really? if he wants to tell he'll stop, not keep walking 500 mtrs with a mob of reporters following him.
2) We saw blow by blow coverage of the commando action, even to the extent of being told which exact positions our commandos were in. Do you know that very time many the social messaging sites (twitter etc.) were self-censoring their messages for the fear that the terrorists might get any hint.(far fetched, but why take the risk, this was a war)
3)Why were some correspondents shouting ?? (Like when a guy with earphones thinks others can't hear him & shouts) shouldn't they be thinking of not creating panic ? Reporters should NOT be like that.
4)There was NO confirmation being carried out, this number of terrorists, this number of commondos (not even saying probably this many), another blast at CST ???? . Please don't report anything without confirmation. simple.
5) Why doesn't news media walk the talk & do something on its own to frame regulations instead of waiting on the government?? You're always talking of us being dependent on govt. don't you. Take a cue from the international media.

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Wednesday, December 3, 2008

non state actors union

Disclaimer : This is a spoof. The cloud comments cannot be attributed to the persons shown.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Rationalization Of Cost



First victim of the slowdown ...

Hello All,

Evening Snacks (which were fully subsidized) will now be available on actual cost basis.

Ah the horror !! 
R.I.P.
dear F.E.S (Free Evening Snack)
.. sob :(

Monday, November 24, 2008

Untimely demise of the fun device



For the technical definition of KLPD, head here.

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Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Friday, November 7, 2008

When Bill Gates comes visiting ..

be prepared for a quiz.

What all do you produce in the farm?
Do you prepare the tomato plants yourself here?
Does any of your children come & help with farmwork?
Where do you sell your produce?
How much does it rain here?
Have you got a bank account?
Do you use authorised windows software?
Would you like to try Zune?

Ok, he didn't ask those last two, but he asked many more such questions
while visiting a pune farmer who seems to be a beneficiary of
the Gates foundation.[Full story at www.esakal.com: बिल गेट्‌स @ गाडेंचा मळा डॉट कॉम ]



[click the picture to open a slide show at esakal.com]



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Monday, October 20, 2008

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

New age toons

by Indians on the interwebs are rocking the cyberspace [its another matter that most of these are created by "benched" programmers]  ... so now, no more relooking at ur own blog over & over & editing & scratching head & editing again.. go read these ones instead :

http://www.flyyoufools.com
http://www.vatsap.com
http://www.brainstuck.com
http://www.uncubedthecomic.com    [Indian Origin to be polytickley correct !]

Heres one from brainstuck ...




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Monday, October 6, 2008

Weekend at home

Weekend @ Nasik ... rains 2.0 ... Mom at her sisters ... Pop & son at work ... threw out lots of moms 'valuable trash' :P
don't know if she'll beat us up into a mash ! ... nobody buys my old books ... java 1.2 is old ? ... higher engg. mathematics ... they'll happily take ... there is no newer version for that ;) .... Baap re Baap dokyaala taap ... ha cinema ahe kharach dokyala taap ... the only jeans got wet, so pajamas it is ... Sheer korma at Ishtis ... still in pajamas ... the second helping ... got Ishti yelping :D ... Sabudana wada @ saayantara ... chatni par dusra haath maara ... met chhotu bro @ hostel ... he wants my lappy ... sis wants lappy too ... nobody wants a better performing desktop !? ... missed Kalika mata fair ... everybodys busy (we'r not kids now) ... Bappa bhojanalay ... tad too simple ... 'chhole' is an integral part of maharashtrian thaali !! though Bhaakri was nice ... bak @ home ... war of words ... karan thapar ... seems bit prejudiced sometimes ... about Orissa attacks ... damn conversions ... damn bajrang dal too ... gotta sleep early ... wake up @ 4:30 ... back to karmabhumi ... lots of bad karma to do !

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Monday, September 29, 2008

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

To the US Senate

Many thanks to the Senate foreign relations committee, we will surely give in to the freshly imposed conditions for passing the uNclear deal. We will also wait for you to start trading in nuclear supplies with us & Not do it with any other nation before that happens, as we are indebted from the umpteen times US has come & helped us..

Afterthought : Told you so before ..

Friday, September 19, 2008

Rock On Patthar

Somebody told me this is a Rock music movie but the only thing resembling Rock was Arjun Rampals expressionless thobda. The USP of a rock movie should be its music, atleast ek taabad tod gaana, to lend a crescendo at the climax but mila kya ...
Aasman hai nila kyun, paani gila gila kyun, gaana dhila dhila kyun, sur hai kyun nahi ?
Aisa tha Sindbad the sailor !? (nursery rhyme ? pakistani sufi rock, no, Baba Sehgal has better lyrics than this)
Ye tumhari meri baatein .. was a good one but slow numbers are already Javed Akhtars playground, he should have stuck to them & given the rock lyrics to someone like Indian Ocean.
I dunno why but everytime Prachi desai came into the frame I would look for a remote to change the channel. Koel purie is ok & Gauhar khan is looking gorgueous enuf to eat but The Band failed to create any acting 'magik' altogether . I loved Debbie's character (Shahana Goswami, RuBaRu might have flopped but she has shined in this one). 
Otherwise the 'production values' were good , which means they didn't fly out to switzerland just because they wanted to shoot a song & also managed to look like normal human beings throughout the movie.

Afterthought : Just add Aamir & this would become another DCH albeit with patthar music.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Raw Poison Treaty - Ratified

Rats ate all the foodgrains ? No problem, you can eat the rats
No wonder our premier spy agencies are now trying to utilize all the remaining rat poison.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

irrational walk

There are some who can make instant fans out of me ...



Rational exploration of the undersea by Philippe Ramatte : irrational walk 2006 (© galerie xippas 2005)
Other works here

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Monday, August 11, 2008

The Golden Blog

http://abhinavbindra.blogspot.com/

The excitement didn't show on his face then,But sure turns up as Exclaimations on the post title  :)

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Marriage is out of the backburner !

Nowadays, father is seriously thinking abt fixing me up with some girl, so now I am supposed to recite a ganapati stotra (sanskrit shloka) every tuesday & wear a pearl ring , that would make my prospects bright for a 'good girl' . You see, for him I am his son, not some rationalist fool [who also thinks marriage is decided by how tasty the kande pohe turn out to be]. Poor father, from the beginning to the end i.e. from soo soo to shaadi (shaadi as end, how apt ;), everything has to be initiated by him. He decided to act because I didn't (or couldn't ?) - [that chapter is a black comedy in itself]. Although I can blame my incompetence in that area called lurve to the skewed sex gender ratio in Matrubhoomi : a nation -soon-to-be- without women. Anyway, soon my profile got created on barbaadi.com, hathimeresathi.com, simplycarry.com vagaira vagaira courtesy the sisterhood (my plans to marry after the sisterhood does were thus, cut short, sisterhood always wins, shhhh raksha bandhan is near). Then it was quiet for sometime. Sometime later i decided to update the profiles myself with details like 'traveled a broad abroad' & such. Then, sisterhood said they were getting flooded with messages, so i decided to check some out. Now normally, I outright reject profiles created by the poojaniya mata-pita but this one seems irresistible :

Well born (how on earth ???) well bread (thanks but i prefer toasted). Soft spoking, caring with charming personality. A fine blender of east & west (the grinder comes free). Blives(& Cdies) in Indian values, respects elders (I really wish he had typo'd this as welders). Looking for someone with whom she can share the journey of life, with love and respect for each other. Visited us on vacation (uh oh.. he means US). Presently working with an MNC company at Pune (wow ! MNC). Belong to a highly cultured (yoghurt ?), descent family from Nagpur,with fine living standard. Father retired as a Sr.Executive. origianlly from north India setteled in Pune for many generations. (father is settled since many generations !) Mother, house maker(he means home maker obviously, not a builder/contractor) from reputed brahmin family (but.. ours is a disreputed brahmin family :( ). Speak Hindi at home, fluent in English, & Marathi. Elder sister M.C.A. M.S now in CA(US) Her husband from well respected deshastha brahmin family now with IBM US.Second sister graduate in computer engg. Married to a Lt.Col. in the Indian army, he is from Banglore.Lots of cousins are abroad in the extended family (& what about the second cousins aunt, she lives in honolulu no ?). A very warm, close knit (sweaters ?), progressive family.with good Sanskar.Looking for a caring and compatible gentleman & family.(this is actually why, with a heavy heart, I decided to turn them down)

hmmmph , now if only getting the right girl required knowing the correct google keywords
...

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Tahalka

Demented Mind reviews the 90s flick Tahalka >>

" The movie starts off unlike most Bollywood fare. No frivolousness, no lady dancing in rain in towel ” Tahalka” comes straight to the point. As shots of the Himalayas are shown, a voice over informs us of a land called Dongri-la (a subtle play of words on Shangri-La, James Hilton’s fictional utopia in the Lost Horizon). However this Dongri-La is no idyllic kingdom cause it is controlled by the evil  dictator –Dong [Amrish Puri]. "

.... This is truly hilarious, another masterpiece from the blogger.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Cuil !> Google

Cuil(pronunced 'kewl' or 'cool') claims to be 3X efficient than Google. It is not even equal.

General Search :

Tested with the term chetan bhagat cuil doesn't even show the official website of the Author of the Five Point Someone & One Night at call center, which is the first result in Google.

Code search [ very neccessary ;) ]

Tested with the term javascript escape ampersand text the Cuil first page provides only two ways to escape ampersand using javascript ; even adding another word to the query javascript escape ampersand text struts
leads to "No results found",whereas Google shows many alternatives.

News Search :

A search for Surat Bombs in Cuil : No mention of the recent bombs [ maybe this engine is US specific, fox news link comes up first ]
Google shows the relavant news result at the very top.

bottomline :
Cuil may look Cool
, but is Not a gud search tool

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

The uNclear Deal

" It is easy to see why the US wants this deal so badly. At virtually no cost, since there is no commitment towards fuel supplies, they can cap our strategic programme, bring us into the NPT net, through the back door, as a non-nuclear power, keep a close eye on our nuclear activities, including R&D, through intrusive IAEA inspections, and subjugate us to the wishes of the nuclear cartel. If there were no cartel, we could have easily extended the Kudankulam agreement for more reactors, and avoided the present situation. If these are not reasons enough not to go ahead with the nuclear deal, then there are no reasons that reason can find. "

-
P. K. Iyengar discusses the demerits of the "no-clear" deal that Dr. Manmohan Singh finds so much in 'national interest'.

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Sunday, July 13, 2008

The speakers dharma is to stay un biased

While I am not too pleased with how the UPA has mishandled the nuclear deal (along with a huge list of things). It is appreciable that someone in the parliament understands his dharma. (link : Somnath Chatterjee takes on Karat, may not step down)

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

ITypos

Creative suggestions, Nah.. Suggestive creations from some frustrated IT geeks who can't cut it with the fairer sex.


Chatting with the Network Admin
"Your hotsname please"

Chatting with the HR
"I would like to discuss my annual bonur"

Chatting with the DBA
"Can you please have that complex inner njoi ready for me by EOD ?"

Chatting with the UNIX admin
"Please download & unzip my flie, it has all the details"

Chatting with the Java Programmer
"I want you to make a child right here instead of the parent(class)"

Chatting with the Tester
"The test bed requires my stimulation program"

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

run-of-the-mill

adj.

 

Not special or outstanding; average

run-of-the-chinese-mill 

adj.

 

Not even ordinary or below average; possibly toxic

 

Usage :

 

Bush : " We'll use this run-of-the-chinese-mill nuke on Iran, If it doesn't go off, it'll double up as a chemical weapon."


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Friday, June 20, 2008

Sometimes I do link to my least favorite celeb blogger


I may not believe in God, but I have no doubt that belief in God serves a purpose for many people.

 

- Amit Varma (India Uncut)

 

Its good to know that you share a belief of non-belief (!) with a celebrated Indian blogger.

 

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Luckier any day ?

.

There are people who are blind
I can look at myself in the mirror.
And see the tears in my mom’s eyes.

.

.

- Daddy's Gal

 

She doesn't write that often, keeps her poems to herself, but I am glad she gives in to a strangers request sometimes. Nice one.


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Tuesday, June 10, 2008

The ending that will stay with me till my ending !

I had Taare Zameen Par stored on my laptop, roommate had not seen it, when we saw it together, I felt proud, as if I had made it & was holding a private screening !

In theatres the movies that I saw recently were Ironman,Valu(marathi) & Tingya(marathi). (Fe)Man was fultu timepass as expected, In Valu some characters makes a documentary about a rampaging village bull gone mad(though all the the while, the bull in question never seems dangerous!) & Tingya feels literally like a documentary on suicidal maharashtra farmers. The two marathi movies are very well made, but lack any punch to get the message through. Next on the watch list is another marathi flick De Dhakka& waiting for Harold & Kumar's next to release here.

 

While we are on the topic of movies ...

Among the few blog feeds that I subscribe to, one is Passion For Cinema. Here, the readers contribute tidbits about world cinema, which one gets to read about rarely from an Indian perspective. Came across a topic The (movie) endings which stayed with me there & I had to mention the climax that has stayed with me & is likely to stay with me till the climax of my life! It is the ending of the Original Planet of the Apes which came out in 1968. I so so so much want to describe it here but it's so haunting & powerful that you have to see it without any spoilers. Interestingly, the novel which the movie is based on has a different end & its writer said later that he wished he had thought of the twist ending as it appears in the movie !

Monday, June 2, 2008

Recollections II (the bad ones first)

Memory is selective; you only remember important things, little things that were good or things that went miserably bad. These were disasters.

 

Lesson in Class Unity 

 

Yours truly was in 6th standard1 in "bharat ka swarnim gaurav lane wala" kendriya vidyalaya, Kota. The background is that this particular KV housed a lot of rogue elements who did not approve of the honorable KV motto. They had a fetish for making other peoples treasured tools such as a compass box2 or pilot pen3 their own. In my own division, if some girl would display her unkil-gifted strawberry-flavored rubber4 one day, she found it missing the next (found it missing?). Being the righteous one, I always felt indignated at the fact that nothing was being done to nab the culprit (phrase courtesy:cnn-ibn). After all, those little damsels in this-dress i.e. the cute blue skirt needed someone to stand up for them. No, I didn't do anything, not until my own compost box went missing (Really, the pencil shavings kept rotting in there would have made good compost). As soon as I realized that the box containing my favorite poking instrument (at that time - the divider) was missing, I went straight to the class teacher to report the crime. I did not have much faith in him, like the UPA, he was too soft on terrorism & did not round up the usual suspects. Instead in his standard non-POTA way, he made everybody stand up & started asking each one personally rather than the 3rd Degee water boarding or narco-analysis test that I would have preferred. It was a simple cross examination where the mulzim could get away with murder. So the futility of this exercise was making me mad. In that rage I blurted out:

 

“Aise bhikhari jaise maangne se thodi koi batayega”  (!) a little too loudly.

 

Luckily, Sir hadn’t heard those words. But since everyone around me had a hearty laugh on that comment, he became suspicious. He came straight to us & asked one of my friends (at least I considered him one) what they were laughing about. Pat came the reply:

 

“Sir is ne bola ki ……. ”

 

& as they say the rest is slapstory. I never got the box back & my faith in fraandship was shattered.

 

From then it won’t be until the 9th std. that I would meet fellas who understood class unity and make good clean fun of our revered teachers without getting caught.

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------- 

1. The author’s usage of angreji may imply that he did not go beyond 6th std. but surprisingly he did!

2. No compass in this box.. likely a produce of Indian English.

3. I would have had lots of stained shirts if Luxor did not import these Japanese pens but it also stymied my chances of having a beautiful girlfriend like the one in the Vodafone chhota credit ad.

4. Verbatim from 6th std. lingo. One day I would realize that real rubbers erased prospective family trees.

 

 

Next on recollections, The case of mistaken identity.


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Thursday, May 29, 2008

The reason that

Girls outshine boys in CBSE, ICSE results .

Arey bhai kyon nahi, boys to girls ko hi dekhte reh jatey hain, 'Un dino' padhai kon karta hai !

smile

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Not in good toast sir

Yes go ahead Mr. secular sardarji economist prime minister (a phrase taken from his own unofficial blog) , make a toast to your pathetic 4 years, we will surely toast you next year ! But the dichotomy here is that we will have to choose the merchant of death Modi over you - the merchant of doing nothing. This dichotomy is a slightly different from the dicotomy present in my apartment were there are two cots in one room. On one sleeps a poor bachelor guy, in my case a poor very bachelor guy & the other sleeps the roomy in his underwear. How I wished he was a she sleeping like that but on second thoughts the prospect of waking up (4ft) next to a hairy & balding (in his case his hair face a dichotomy) girl might induce morning sickness without being pregnant.

In other news finally I have got some work so I won't have to take the same trainings over & over now, just have to pretend to be involved wih the team.