Thursday, November 29, 2007

CPI lets Taslima *live*

Theres a race on at TOI -- who makes the absurdest headline.

The two diaspora

Yes, there are two types of diaspora, The rich ones who can even influence national policies & be treated like erstwhile provincial rulers.. like the Amreekan Indians. The others.. the lowly 'ethnic' Indians living & struggling against discrimination in countries such as Malaysia , Dubai & Fiji etc. In the recent shouting spat between the malaysian official from the PMO & our own Tamil 'champion' Karunanidhi, one thing is clear. Even if Karuna was wrong in terming it as assault against the tamils('Malaysian Indians' would have been a better word), the Manmohan Singh government is not going to raise a finger on the issue. Since that type of Diaspora doesn't hold any influence in the country.

And anyway, i find the protests somewhat funny, for the reason behind them is this :

The Hindu Rights Action front (Hindraf) of Malaysia wanted to hand over a memorandum signed by over 100,000 ethnic Indians demanding Queen Elizabeth II to appoint a Queen's counsel to represent the Indian community in a class action suit against the British Government for bringing Indians as indentured labourers to then 'Malaya' and "exploiting" them.

Hindraf has also asked for a compensation of four trillion US dollars from the British Government.

Do they seriously think that will ever happen !!

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Funny stuff

Reproduced here an extract from the rediff article This Jest in by Aditi Nadkarni

What's in a name?

Payal Mehta had settled down well into her routine in the United States. The job was well-paying and she finally decided to get herself the little piece of plastic all shoppers adore: a credit card. Happy at being approved for one, she waited for the brand-new card to arrive. And it did after a few days, her name typed on shiny blue plastic -- Pile Mehta, in bright silver letters.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Just Doodle It !

Notice the Nike swoosh for the skis :P

Kasparov to D6

Oh ..i wish life was a game of chess

Cell number D6 or E5 , that maybe the new move for Kasparov, who was sentenced to 5 days in jail by 'King' Putin, for leading a march to the Central election Offices, claiming that the coming elections were biased in favor of Putin. Apparently he only had permission for holding a rally. Say, whats the difference ?

Thursday, November 22, 2007

An oily rhyme

We have rich soil
Have mexicans who toil
O' Citizens.. smile
Cause we have the oil

Who gives a damn if others roil
We have the oil
We have the oil

The free market economy is a bliss,
But don't outsource our jobs please.
Let the Macs & Cokes take them over,
Just dont take away my subsidy cover.

We are sure, theres no global warming,
Its only too many chinese swarming,
Its them & the Indians,
who make the world boil.
Its not our oil,
Never our oil.

So what if no ones ever been thankful,
for changing regimes & givin'em 'democracy'.
we have our hands full,
for embarking on the next idiocracy.

Those who are not with us are against us,
In fear they will recoil,
cause we have the oil,
We'll always take that oil.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

FeY

Why 'Storm' didn't have any kissing scenes in X-Men.
- It always gave the men a brain-freeze.

Friday, November 16, 2007

Ain't that odd ?

I am temporarily doing the third shift (4pm-12pm) at work.
On of my colleagues said 'Man, Thats odd'
'No' i said, 'this is *Even*, 3 to 11 would have been odd'

end.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Childrens Day at 99.98 fm

- Hey, This just in, we got Xyz Khan for childrens day.
- What ? wow ! which Slot ?
- Morning, traffic tunes, tell Adrita to be ready.
- Oh she'll really freak out when i tell her this !
- Bet she will, & tell her i want the 'cute' accent, its childrens day afterall.
And you have the job of arranging some children.
- Some children ?
- Actually some special children, you know those autistic kinds.
- Oh i get it, but can't we get some from that Balashram orphanage ?
- No, we want the mentally challenged ones..you know his new movie
is about those kids.
- Oh yeah, I forgot, nice songs.
- I know, so we have got some exclusives as well.
- Really ! that will shoot up the listener ship.

...

-Hey I just called at this place, those children are booked.
-What ? children are booked ?
-Yeah 99.99 fm got to them before us, u know they have Xyz Kapoor coming right ?
-Yeah Yeah, isn't there any other place for these kids ?
-Not in Mumbai & our budget is limited.
-Oh shoot ! Khan asked specifically for those ones. How about that orphanage.
-Let me check.

...

-Late here as well, they are being taken to PhonyTV.
-Oho..then Cancer kids, Handicapped, anything ?
-Very difficult, I know an NGO, they provide good street kids.
-Street kids, oh nobody cares about Them.

-Hmmm ok why don't you do one thing, just tell all the staff to get their children,
Nobody can guess on radio & they'll have some fun. Have you called the press bureau yet ?

http://www.buzz18.com/slideshows/movies/bwood-exploits-childrens-day/26723/1

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Help the poor, Play as much as you can !

Are you a words-aficionado ? Would you like playing with words & donate food while doing that ?
Then go to http://www.freerice.com/index.php , build your English vocabulary and bring a betterment to fellow humans doing that. Help spread this message (Like, I put it on a scrabble playing sites chat room).

On the sidelines, i went Ice-Skating for the first time in my life this weekend... and even though it hurts ( mainly the body part which i landed on thrice), Would like to go again.. good fun learning it with 5 year olds !

Friday, November 9, 2007

Miss Mumbai ..

very much ! Although i would prefer to settle down anywhere but the maximum city, can't help but reminisce all the chaos on this sombre deepavali here.

What do i miss ?

Hanging my underwear out to dry (you can do it here but the neighbors frown)

Vada-Pav which is literally khoon paseene ki kamai of the vendor.

Flies. we had a very symbiotic relationship, they tasted my food for poison.

ooooo Himesh + auto rickshaw + jhankaar beats.

The 'sacred' animal walking or idling on the road. Eating garbage.

Power-cut breaks we used to get in the office.

Raste ka maal saste mein. Do ka char, Do ka char, Dun kya bhaisaab ?

Automatic boarding & exiting the mumbai local. The extremly 'close' brotherhood of local commuters.

Jaghanya apraadhi faraar ! & Breaking news every minute on aak tak..sabse tez.

Haggling with the cold-drink vendor for the 2 Rs. over MRP.

Pudhe chalaa pudhe chalaa.. o kali topi wale sarak tujhya m@i#% - Best bus conductor.

Egg-bhurji available at any ungodly hour. The silly drunkards(Hic!) that surround that egg-bhurji stall.


wish to add more ?

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

शुभ दीपावली | Happy Deepavali

This Deepavali,
dont be loneli,
go out there,
& be jolli,
This is the festival of lights,
taking truth to the heights,
its about being a good human,
not only taking mithai bites !


...& please dont burn fire crackers for the sake of environment

Monday, November 5, 2007

My fortune cookie on Orkut 6

Today's fortune: Good news will be brought to you by mail

'good news' ? by email ? couldn't she just tell me ? who's her anyway :O

mail one : Congratulations, you have been selected as the 10,000th visitor at dubiousSite.com
mail two : Unbeatable offer, enlarge your [insert body part here] in 10 days. Click here.
mail three : Women will attack you ! - from Jerry(? seems Tom has let him loose)
mail four : Become a bigger man. (sic)
mail five : Enlong your schlong !! (why ? is the human male going through depression ?)
mail six : Your home loan approved. .. yippie !

wait a minute, did i ever apply ?

Never knew spam can be so interesting.

Saturday, November 3, 2007

Can superheated clusters of gases foretell anything ?

Stars, that is. I've often wondered how astrologers manage to keep their profession alive. I think the trick is to keep the reader happy by guessing both ways & keeping the answers open ended.
A case in point is this from http://www.paulsadowski.com/Numbers.asp :-

Whats in a name ? lots ...

You entered: vishal mungi

There are 11 letters in your name.
Those 11 letters total to 54
There are 4 vowels and 7 consonants in your name. Grammer lesson ?

Your number is: Billa number 9

The characteristics of #9 are: Vegetarian, Eggitarian, Humanitarian, giving nature, selflessness, obligations, creative expression.

- Wow who doesn't like this sort of flattery !!

The expression or destiny for #9:
Your talents center in humanistic interests and approaches.(i only approaches cute girlies) You like to help others as you were intended to be the 'big brother or big sister (new reality show) ' type. You operate best when you follow your feelings and sense of compassion, and allow yourself to be sensitive to the needs of others. You work well with people, and have the potential to inspire. Creative ability, imagination(Day dreaming) and artistic talent (often latent) of the highest order are present in this expression. It's possible that you're not using or developing all of these capabilities at this time. Some of your talents may have been used at an earlier time in your life, and some may still be latent. Be aware of your capabilities.

If you are able to achieve the potential you have a lot to give to others. Your personal ambitions are likely to be maintained in a very positive perspective, never losing sight of an interest in people, and a sympathetic, tolerant, broad-minded and compassionate point of view. You are quite idealistic, and disappointed at the lack of perfection in the world.(ah those potholes) You have a strong awareness of your own feeling as well as those of others. Friendships, affection, and love are extremely important.

Undeveloped or ignored, the negative side of the 9 expression can be very selfish and self-centered. If you do not actively involve yourself with work that benefits others, you may tend to express just the opposite characteristics.(yahan tumhari awaaz koi nahi sunega.. muhahahaha nahiii !) It is your role to be very involved with other people and their needs, but it may be difficult for you achieve this role. Aloofness, lack of involvement, and a lack of sensitivity mark the low road of this expression.

Your Soul Urge number is: 22

A Soul Urge number of 22 means:
The Soul Urge of the master number 22 is very much that of the master builder. The 22 gives a broad, universal outlook with a rather practical and common-sense approach. You have especially high intelligence(?), with an unusual perception(sixth sense for pj's) and awareness. This number often denotes a high degree of diplomatic abilities and high ideals. You are a very capable person and you may possess special leadership abilities that you can and should develop. People respect you and recognize your superior foresight(4 sight = spectacles) and vision.( xray vision would be better :P )

Your Inner Dream number is: 5

An Inner Dream number of 5 means:
You dream of being totally free and unrestrained by responsibility. You see yourself conversing and mingling(exactly wat kind ?) with the natives (jhingalala hu !) in many nations, living for adventure and life experiences. You imagine what you might have accomplished.


Wow ain't i smug now ? you believe it or not, reading something like this in the morning, makes one feel good atleast for the day.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

A sense always prevails around me

Nonsense.

Here i was, late in the night as usual trying to straighten my back on punishing benches of the subway train, after a back-breaking non-working day. It so happens that after lurking around yesterday night at the halloween parade, I was thinking about spooky action at a distance & so the possibility of some thing traveling faster than the speed of light (yeah, seriously bored).Ok, If there is indeed anything zapping around faster would we be able to see it ? cos it is already faster than light speed , which is the only thing we can see. Also would we be able to feel it ? when we can only feel visible sunlight as sunburn after spending hours in it ? Moreover the mass of this 'thing' would be lighter than photons(?) so it is possible that we are already feeling it .. that might actually be causing that itch you cant scratch on you back !

Now all this while, i was also time slicing between looking at a belle dame seated diagonally opposite. She looked at me... is the burger mayo still stuck to my chin ? nope, she looked at me again ! that happens rarely. Sometime later she smiled at me !! that almost never happens. The train stopped, she got out, i got out .... she waved at the friend seated next to me all along in the train ... & it was the wrong station, again.