Monday, December 31, 2007

Charlie Wilson's War

The movie is a gem as far as hollywood movies dealing with world geopolitics go. Absolutely nothing is out of place, from chronicling the antics of (former)U.S. congressman Charlie Wilsons flamboyant lifestyle to the parched landscape of the afghans.
The film is a cinematic adaptation of a book on the same subject, which is about Charlie Wilson and his role in getting U.S. support for the afghan fight against the soviets in late 70s. It was cold war time & U.S. was then fighting a covert war to defeat the communist soviet regime. In order to keep the support under cover & outrun the commies, Charlie had made an almost impossible pact between the Muslims & Israel, the movie tells us how he goes about it. Tom Hanks plays congressman Charlie Wilson & is impeccable in presenting the man, having character flaws & yet holding Americas interests above all, Om Puri splendidly plays general Zia-Ul-Haq , Julia Roberts does a stellar job of playing an upper class conservative christian , using her money & influence against the communists.
The film also makes points upon how America always goes to war but never tries to rebuild the community afterwards.

Heppy New Ear

.. in case your neighbor plans to burst firecrackers.
And many thanks to all my 'friends' who thought of me worthy enuf to be on their numerous scraps & email lists to which they sent their ultra colorful (spam) greetings. I will remember to click send to all & send a thanks personally to each one of you.

eh.. One resolution of mine should be to do away with the sarcasm :P .

enjoy !

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Interesting "inspiration"

'Tis the christmas time here & this classic song is playing everywhere :



'Tis khoya khoya chand time as well.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Benazir

(Adjective in Urdu) ; means incomparable , unique.

She went back & stayed put even after the earlier first attack & dismal security . Was either very brave or a very bad decision maker influenced by ill advice.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Cloverfield

Blair witch style home-video-feel movie with a sci-fi mystery angle.
Trailer looks chaotic but edgy, may work. Releasing 18th Jan(US).

मायामी से वापस आया-मी

Got back from Miami , Jodhaa Akbar got postponed again , TZP released , Modi won , Churches were set on fire , Another student was shot in delhi , so much changes in a week , yet stays the same ?

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Elle Mag goes Hindi

Trivendrum 26 Dec : With liberalization coming a full circle & Tatas taking over Jaguar, another Indian company has taken over reins of an MNC . The Malayala Moronama group has just bought the republishing rights for the worldwide womens magazine Elle. They are rebranding it in hindi as 'Naari-Elle'. The promotional copy comes with a satchet of Parashute Naarielle Tel. Get your own today.

Friday, December 21, 2007

Note to self

Think before you say.

friend : I am making some cold coffee, anyone ?
me : sure !
friend to his flatmate : And you ?
ffmw(friends flatmates wife) : no-no he has milk allergy.
me : milk allergy ?
ffm : Lactose intolerant.
me : oh .. so when did you first find out about it ?
friend : when he first drank milk.
me : ummm...uh oh..but..err..ok.. ahem.

{BIG awkward silence}

me (switching on the tv) : so whats on tv today.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - afterthought.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Story of three teens

TwistedDNA blogs about being caught ala american pie.

.... Interrupting the enchanting pop sound-track of the porn movie, spoke guy_1, “Do you think we will be able to finish the movie before your parents return?” Guy_2 chimed in, “Yeah, do you think we should fast forward a bit?” ....

Read full :
Story of three teens

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

new Nepali national anthem

Indias least hostile neighbour & 'ally' Nepal is no longer a kingdom & hence it has adopted this new anthem. Not to be rude here but I wonder how they can stand in attention to this & not burst out dancing to the catchy tune :) .. or have I been brainwashed with the garhwali sounding dances in bollywood ?



Monday, December 17, 2007

Rhyme [for a change] in Marathi | मराठी कविता

परदेशी गुलाबी थंडितहि ,
चिर यौवना च्या धुन्दीतहि ,
उरी ऊष्म उन्हा चा भास असे ,
प्रेमळ साथी ची आस असे ।

त्या पावसाची आठवण ,
या तरुण मनाचे ते वलण ,
वड, चिन्चे च्या आडोश्यातले ,
आपले मिलन असे होई स्मरण ...

सोनेरी कसे ते केस तुझे ,
दगदगते कसे हे मन माझे .
कोमल गालान्च्या गर्भी प्रिया ,
बालिश हसणारे ओठ तुझे .
नूतन गज्र्याची मंद गंध ,
मज अंतरी आज़ही वसे ,
इथ श्वेत श्याम च्या गर्दीतही
मला तूच दिसे, सखी तूच दिसे

* courtesy : English-Marathi dictionary :P

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Calm waters

Gazing in the darkness,
I just sat there for years,
waiting for the one who would
be my likeness.

show me the light,
fill my heart with delight,
so that i stop being ..
the monster without his Loch Ness.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

He said, "Let there be light"

& the bartender handed him a Bud light.


सर मुन्डाते ही ओले पड़े

New York version : Shave करते ही Sleet पड़े

तड तड तदा तड , Oh these small frozen ice-pellets sure sting ! & the pavement is slippery, I couldn't even go to the Indian cart for my lunch.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Greatest mysteries in science

"... more men named “Ken” move to live in Kentucky and more “Florences” move to live in Florida; more men named “Dennis” become dentists and more “Lauras” become lawyers."

- from Livescience The greatest mysteries of science - Who are we ?

Man, I knew I should have been named Swisshal or viStar or something like that.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

2008 Horrorscope

This year is going to be an year of great twists & turns in the world ,
to be remembered in the infinite history. Wonder why . . .


Student killed in school shootout .. U.S. ? No Delhi !

" a 14-year-old boy studying in Std VIII was killed on Tuesday allegedly by two of his classmates who pumped five bullets into him shortly after the school closed. "

http://in.rediff.com/news/2007/dec/11shoot.htm

Monday, December 10, 2007

"I hate you,

you are retarted. that simple, mentally retarted"

- a comment from John Jacobs(U.S) on Mahmoud Ahmadinejads blog

I don't know if this is a planted comment but the comments do range from high praise to trash like this, allowing such comments on his blog is very surprising for a man who has a dictator like image being propagated by international media. Maybe the leader of the free world should take out some time to reach out like this.

Merchant[s] of political filth

Friday, December 7, 2007

Separation

She was sitting besides a fresh grave, gazing at the roses, in tears.

"Come on Iya, Its getting late, we don't have much time."
"It wasn't supposed to be like this Ralph"


He came near & held her hands.

"I know honey, but we can't help it now"
"But everything was so good, the kids were happy with us Ralph, so happy with us as parents, I was so proud of James, Lisa made me smile. I never thought i would have anybody call me mom like that."
"You chose well Iya, getting them was perhaps the best decision we ever made"
"But now .."
"Now lets hope they'll be cherished as the precious little souls they are, thats all we can do, lets go"


The two rise & walk towards the gates, then disappear in the mist.

The tombstones read :
Iya Welch
12/20/1972 - 1/23/2007
Ralph Welch
11/13/1971 - 1/23/2007

Thursday, December 6, 2007

gmail <3 aim * , par ye shadi nahi ho sakti !

So now I can chat with my AIM buddies in the gmail talk window - link.
But do i want to mix business(aim) & pleasure(gtalk) ???

* <3 stands for 'love(heart)' as in I <3 India

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Go green (not with envy)

We have to do this otherwise the politicians will keep playing climate change pass-the-buck at Bali when climate change is already knocking at our doors. *thanks aksharshilpa for the link.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

After the revelation

First the Flashback

P.Hell* 21/22/2200,
When he-who-must-not-be-spoken-of-lightly FSM, rescued me from the normal hell, you should have seen their faces ! Thats why us pastafarians just love FSM, he is the one & only ultimate god & thinking otherwise would be blasphemy. So here I am at the *Pastafarian hell now. Why still hell you ask? Arey the place is just too cool to be called Hell. Infact Phell is the exact opposite. We get 96 virgins [instead of the standard 72 in some other heavens] for all the weekends in the year. You can pee & spit paan anywhere but it doesn't stain or smell ! Theres no politics [politicos are sent to the heaven, where they don't have mouths]. We even have starbucks & haldirams outlets plus my favorite : toys-r-us !
In a few days I will be in the divine presence of goddess Invisible Pink Unicorn. She might have already blessed us , we never know since shes kind of .. Invisible. Hoping that you all join me soon in these new adventures in the afterlife.

Signing off from Phell,
Lavish


Thanks to lekhni for inspiring an even more nonsensical sequel post to the one below :)

Sunday, December 2, 2007

The atheists nightmare

vishal is crossing a street, lost in thoughts like whether the meaning of life is lack of death. then...Bam ! .. he dies on the spot ... So much for the meaning of life.
(my friends will agree on the cause of my death. Though i hope - that its swift & painless)

the cloud clears,
yamrajs court ... its just hanging in the void of space like they showed on mahabharat, man ! yamraj is enjoying sura & watching the apsara channel.

santri: Nastik vishal mungi hazir ho !
yamraj(changing the channel to aastha) : an atheist ? shame shame , not another one !
me(wide eyed & disbelieving) : this is a bad dream, this is a bad dream ...
santri : hey shutup ! you have the right to remain silent.
chitragupt(clearing his throat) : vishal mungi , tumhara hisab is prakar se hai ..
yamraj: arey hisab visab chhodiye , nark mein kounsi kadhai khali hai wo bataiye is nastik ke liye.
chitragupt: parantu dev, agle mahine audit hai ..
yamraj: oh , achhha vaise bhi naarad ji kabhi bhi aa sakte hain, theek hai.
chitragupt :
pitrudharm - below par
matrudharm - below par
me : huh?
bhratradharm - below par
mitradharm - below par
hatya - N/A
balatkaar - N/A
nashile padarth - N/A
madira - N/A
Yamraj : Mandira ! kahan hai mandira, hum usey yahi rakhenge.
Chitragupt : Mandira nahi maharaj M.a.d.i.r.a. arthaat alcohol, hooch, tharra.
Yamraj : Oh ahem...continue.
Chitragupt :
pashu hatya - doshi

me : what the ..
chitragupt :
hurting religious sentiments - doshi
me : is this a joke ?
santri : shhhh !
chitragupt :
dhumrapaan - N/A
iti.
Yamraj : On these counts we find you guilty. Tumhe krimibhojan nark mein bheja jayega. There you will
exist as a worm, eating another worms tail who in turn is eating your tail. Infinite hell loop, perrfect
for a programmer, what say ?
me : Oh hell ! I never got much chance to code. Anyway where did you get this data from ?
Chitragupt : A state-of-the-art three minute survey was sent to those who know you. Those who cared
responded...only 5% , that alone tells a lot about you.
me : But this must be wrong. my family rates me below par ?
Chitragupt : Unhone kabhi uttar hi nahi diya, ye default option hai.
me : Par meine pashu hatya to kabhi ki hi nahi.
Chitragupt : Hello, eggs ? Well its a lot stricter than that, but we've built it upon the Jain rules.
me : And when did i hurt 'religious sentiments'(Indian political vocabulary?). I've been an atheist myself, but never against anyones beliefs.

At this Chitragupt types something on his laptop. I see its a customized mac !

Chitragupt : Is this your blog ?
me : yes
Chitragupt : Why are there so many insulting statements making fun of the flying spaghetti monster ?
me : Thats just a fictional deity which the atheists use to get their point across.
Chitragupt : Oh is that so ?

Just then .. roars of thunder echo across the clouds, a cyclone nears,
the papers fly everywhere ..
everybody becomes awestruck as strikes of lightning emanate from a Huge form, which is glowing with the radiance of a Hundred suns & has Thousands of arms . Yes it is..
HIM , the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

By the grace of FSM(pasta be upon him). I am saved !

End.


Read what happens afterwards .. here

I dig Joanne Colan !

Joanne anchors popular video blog RocketBoom, which spoofs & satires on tech & other news. Apart from looking good, shes funny & sounds intelligent too [well she must be, considering she used to work as a researcher for the bbc] - Now thats a heady combination of attributes ;) . Also she speaks quite fast & clear, something that is required for a 3 minute news clip. Heres a clip from her on the social networking phenomenon :

Saturday, December 1, 2007

A virgin barber

On his wedding night to the wife :
"Honey, I have been shaving myself all these years for you."

;)