The fight to stay together

My cousin is getting wedded to someone she just met,
My schoolmate is 'cordially' inviting me to her being 'tied for generations' to a colleague.
My colleague is getting into a 'holy alliance' with his friends sister,
One of my best friends is getting married (arranged) after an eventful search & heaps of kande pohe.
I wish them all a long lasting marriage spat. Yes, the folks at Livescience have come up with this theory that couples who vent their ire in fights rather than compromise over issues, live longer. These same folks say when people are angry they tend to make better decisions !

There will come a time when we will read the latest science report of the day & hope it lasts the next. Anyway, please help me choose the gifts - a sturdy bat for the guys, a good sized 'belan' for the girls or electric tasers and a pepper spray set for both ?

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