Wednesday, March 12, 2008

03.12.2008 (MM:DD)

This may be disturbing. I had the most horrible dream last night. In that nightmare of a dream, I killed somebody. I put in the details into another post but I wouldn't want to publish it. Even for a dream it is very unsettling for me. I woke up - right as I was planning my getaway. Getaway ? how could i think of that, there was blood everywhere. When i woke up there should have been relief that it was not real. But it felt real & I kept thinking about it all morning getting ready for work. How could I kill a man that grotesquely , & the guilt, I could actually feel the guilt , you really want to kill yourself after you've done something like that. If not for the act itself but for the dread of being caught. Some of the imagery was new, some felt awfully similar to movie sequences, except I was experiencing the movie. What triggered this ? hopefully this is a one off thing. One of my friends gets these violent dreams in which he's a gun toting macho man, maybe shooting supposedly evil men from a distance ala video games is not that freakish, but this was not a gun.

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